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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

NHS nurses in IV fluid binge

Nursing staff in a Staffordshire hospital lost control during the early hours of last night in what appears to be a night of crazed debauchery.

Prince to release album made of honey

Rock legend Prince took a break from his current 231-date tour to announce a new album made of honey.

The 55-year old Purple Rain star announced the record's unique format to a press-conference of hand-picked journalists, wearing nothing but bumble-bee patterned pants and a sunflower hat.

The limited edition, which is completely edible, has been tipped by fans to have an un-nibbled resale value of £100.

Campaign manager for Save Our Bees voiced concerns over the star's flagrant misuse of the limited sticky resource. "Whilst we admire Prince's outfit, we deplore the use of bees in this way."

Dole Poles to shore up flood defences

The Prime Minister today detailed his two-pronged initiative to resolve the Somerset flooding and rising immigration.

Billion burkha budget for big pupil

Shadow Education Minister, Michael Gove, laid out his promise to the Bradford Muslim community last night that no child would go uncovered.

Parent outrage over mash covered children

Parents were left fuming last night after pupils at the Chelmsford Boys Comprehensive were covered in mashed potato as part of an art project.